Chapter Three - Finding Purpose
I had been back home for a couple months, off the streets and back under a legitimate roof. Things were not the same anymore, I looked around and could tell the difference that I had once again become dependent, completely stripped from my independence.
Sure, I gained the love and affection of my family for the first couple months but once they realized my return was more of a defeat I lost that credibility and respect. I had given up, I defaulted on my mission and purpose.
I remember sitting there in my car, just contemplating my situation. I wanted to find out what my purpose was, what I should be doing to get closer to the situation I WANTED to be in. I did not want to sleep at my parents' anymore. I did not want to even BE home, my parents soon began to ignore my presence completely and it definitely made things uncomfortable. I knew that in 5+ years time I did not want to be there.
That definitely was not my calling/purpose in life. I wanted to have my own place, my own accomplishments and my own lifestyle. I wanted to have friends over, invite my family as well as eventually starting my own family. I wanted all of this through sweat and determination. I was 100% willing to give it my best shot no matter what.
In this similar sense, to find one's own purpose is to find one's own glory. I wanted to own my own lifestyle and with it came a grind I was 100% willing to go through. I did not know if this was the right step to take but it definitely would be the first step SOMEWHERE. Chances were that I'd never figure life out where I was, not taking action or taking any steps in any direction.
Why be scared? Failure is merely an opportunity to grow. What matters here is that whether you fail or you succeed, you remain engaged and happy knowing your purpose is what you are pursuing. Therefore in this sense your failures and successes are all yours. From the moment you take action with a cause, you assume 100% the effect.
That's the beauty of purpose. Finding it is worth all it's struggle and grind. You may have ideas of what you want to do and those are definitely a great start.
Take a moment and assess your current situation:
-Am I currently living a life I would be proud of?
-Am I consistently taking steps towards a defined purpose?
-If I could do something about it right now, what would that be?
-Do I like serving people? Do I like creating things? Am I more of a debater? Do I like to work in groups or alone?
-What am I best known for throughout my life? How can I use this for my purpose?
-What do I spend money, energy and time on?
-If I had infinite money and could spend it doing what I love doing, what would that be?
You do not get what you deserve in life. You just don't. You get what you negotiate for. If you settle for mediocrity, you will continue getting mediocrity until you stand up. It's simple. You settle you lose.
You don't have to lose. With the list above you can start working to find the right purpose for your life or reinforce your current purpose. For the 4th bullet point, I highly suggest taking a Personality Test.
With a Personality Test you can visibly see what embodies your character, What you're attracted to vs what you're repulsed by. There is just about every combination for all 8 Billion people on this planet, you can be sure to find out exactly what attracts you towards your purpose. What I personally like about these tests is that some websites/apps will include a list of possible careers you could get into, making it easier to choose or refine your selection of purposes.
All the other bullet points though, those are questions you should ask yourself. Look for the answers, dig deep and if you still have come up without a purpose then it means you have to experience more in life. Life is so big and full of different experiences, many times we spend it inside our homes or a certain safe space.
Go out there. If you don't have a strong purpose but you did come up with probable purposes, go and check them out. Would you like working with cars? Would you like to repair computers? Go out there and shadow someone. Go down where your possible purpose takes place whether it be a store or a club/group and get to know the environment. Not appealing? Go to another similar place with a better community and healthier setting.
Like attracts like and the point here is to put you in a place where you will be happy working with others who are also happy doing what they're doing. If you're happy doing what you're doing you will be a happier person overall. Would it not be one more step in the right direction?
You won't need to take as many vacations from a job you love and since the grind is fun for you, you'll devote MORE time to do what you love. If you devote more time, energy and money to doing what you love, you'll be a lot more noticed than someone who just grinds for a paycheck every week and does just enough to not get fired.
If you get noticed more, you'll be chosen and promoted a lot more because you are seen as someone of value. You'll be a great investment to pursue and spend energy/time on. Purpose is VERY important for all these reasons. It is worth struggling and fighting for. With a defined and strong purpose, you'll be able to give to those close to you. You'll be able to provide confidently without worrying about instability and insecurity.
I know for a fact that we as men tend to generally want to provide all we can to everyone related to us. We tend to stress and worry about money a lot more than our female counterparts, not that they don't it's just that we take it to a whole other level. We tend to define our masculinity based on how much we can provide, it's just who we are.
Many women also wish to get out of the house and not evolve to be housewives, which is something completely understandable. They've seen what life is like when someone has no purpose in life, whether it be at home or someone outside of it. They understand that someone without a purpose tends to stop taking care of themselves, they stop putting their best foot forward.
That's exactly what finding your purpose is for. So everyone could put their best foot forward and we can make the best of each situation to allow everyone else to also have a fun and growth oriented human experience. If everyone put their best foot forward, we’d have better products, better services, and so much more would be better off.
Your purpose as of now is to find your purpose. That is your purpose and that is what you will be energized for. It is what you will be failing and succeeding to find, the very war you will be waging to be a step closer to refining your life. To put you where you want to be.
Why grind away at a job you hate, but someone else loves? It would be the mature and responsible thing to pursue YOUR happiness and allow for others to pursue theirs. Don’t live someone else’s dream, pursue yours.
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