Why do nice guys finish last?
Because they're willing to give everything away at the cost of their well being.
Similarly like a Samurai would. Except that Samurai has yet to prove that he in fact won't surrender his own master at the cost of both their well being. Today, I've got yet another message from a follower who is wondering how he could go from being a nice guy to one that is more self-respecting.
I will be detailing exactly what he is doing wrong, analyzing his mentality as well as what he could do to improve and get the woman that he wants. I will be writing in bold, I will be keeping his words italicized.
Without further ado:
"Hey Rodrigo,
I’m a 19 year old suffering from depression. I’m known for being the polite nice guy, which means I’m kind but I never have any luck with women. I invest money into dating apps to try and get matches but more often than not after a couple days I get unmatched, and this really hurts my confidence."
Hey Bob (Fake name), I appreciate you reaching out to me and most of all improving yourself to be of value to yourself + the world. It sucks to sink in a ton of money into trying to find someone you're compatible with, but I like the perspective that you've come to acknowledge: it's an investment. Just because you're constantly vetting women to find a great reliable teammate to keep growing and having fun, I know you're definitely someone who applies themselves when given the opportunity.
"I was once speaking to a girl for over 5 months. We spoke about so many things. One day we had a little disagreement about a game, and after that she decided to block me. This hurt me a lot."
That's a bummer, not only did you spend money but also something a lot more precious: Time. Your time is your most valuable resource because unlike money, you can't make it back or recover it in any way, shape, or form. With this said, you should have put yourself in a mindset of "Why should I spend my time with her?". This perspective would make HER prove yourself to you and do and say things to win you over. Unfortunately you spent 5 months chatting over the phone only to be ghosted, when you really should have asked her out once you two got the basics over (within a week give or take).
I can tell that she just didn't have any respect towards you, otherwise if she was trying to prove herself to you then she'd agree or at least talk the disagreement out. More than likely some other guy probably asked her out within a week and was able to win her over. There's also a chance that she got tired of you not stepping up to the plate: Women want to be able to show off their superhero to their parents, siblings and other family members. She wants a man that will break through barriers for himself and her, not one that will walk on egg shells trying to not break them.
"Sometimes I feel like I’m going to be forever alone, because any confidence I get always gets shattered. I guess all I’m asking for is advice.
Thank you,
Bob"
The man you aspire to be is within you, but unfortunately your community may have sold you values/perceptions that have locked your masculinity down. The only way you'll be forever alone is if you allow yourself to be. You should embrace loneliness however, because when you do that is when women realize you aren't just another fuckboi out there. Be happy, be content with doing what you love. The moment you say to a woman or a friend "You know what? If you don't treat me the way I'd like to be treated, I think it's best we part ways. I have this immense appreciation for you and honestly I hate to think that you'd treat me this way, but I rather just spend time elsewhere where I can celebrate and be celebrated. I'll be here if you ever change your mind, but otherwise best of luck!"
That is when someone will realize you're not a nice guy, but you're also not someone with bad intentions. It shows honesty, integrity, and discipline; traits that show you're someone women can trust their hearts to.
Most importantly (Better be taking notes!) make sure to always stand up for yourself in a healthy and growth oriented way. Ask yourself what are the best ways to deal with an issue from a perspective of growing and having fun. Women are always testing their men just to see what they're made of!
I hope you found this article of value. If YOU personally have a situation in which you could use a second opinion or a third perspective, Make sure to visit my personal website, under the Contact page, just fill out the blanks as neatly as you can and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
If you found value in my work and would like to throw me a 5 dollar for a sub or whatever amount you feel like, you're free to do so in my website completely anonymous of course.
Stay healthy, Stay growing and keep having fun. I will see you all next time,
Rodrigo V.