Chapter Eight - How To Be An Alpha Male

Many of you have probably seen that meme where a man is pulling his men forward among them and on the flip side a “boss” is on top of the men as they pull forward.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/boss-vs-leader.jpg

Being an Alpha is being a leader. Being a Man is owning your masculine core.

Before being an “Alpha Male” to lead with your masculine core, you’ve got to embody the traits of someone who:

-Goes first

-Is Decisive; Knows what he wants and goes for it.

-Is Disciplined; Sticks to his values and keeps temptation away.

-Lives by his truth. He speaks his mind in a healthy way, always looking to grow himself and others even if it bothers him.

-Formal. Fair and appreciative when given something as menial as attention.

I personally live by a motto my father once told me as a joke when I was a boy:

”Feo, Fuerte, y Formal”

”Ugly, Strong, and Formal”

Ugly: Will dive into topics and talks even if it may hurt either sides feelings. Does not care about anyone’s opinions of him as he allows himself to be.

Strong: Disciplined enough to keep going even when defeated. Will carry himself to victory as he has planned.

Formal: Appreciative and loving while maintaining self respect. Won’t allow anyone to walk all over him but he will show his love where appropriate.

The USF Acronym is really just a short description, almost like a cheat sheet, for memorizing a man’s core values.

Remember: To attract a woman and be the best and last man in her life you’ve got to work on yourself by applying the USF in your life.

It makes sense that you cannot give something you do not yet have.

I cannot give you a single cent if I do not have it myself.

So how could you be the leader and man that your woman craves if you can’t lead and discipline yourself first?

That is why not only you have to embody the USF (Ugly, Strong and Formal) but be first and foremost Growth and Fun Oriented.

While being an Alpha Male will reinforce your masculine core by being objective oriented and breaking through barriers, you still need to always be focused on bringing value to the world.

Feminine energy is all about connecting, bonding and receiving love while Masculine energy is passion, purpose and breaking through barriers.

Both still need to be Growth Oriented and Fun to attract a lifestyle of growing and having fun together.

For this article, I will mainly be focusing on men. I’ll touch more on feminine relationship qualities on other posts in the future.

For a man to be growth oriented and fun, he has to embody it himself. Just like we did with the initial (USF) points.

Always look to be growing. Experiencing new things. Learning from mistakes but not being afraid of the world. Seeing the positive side to everything.

Too many times have I personally talked women right out of dating me just because I told sob stories and tried to appeal to their emotion in a negative way. I know many guys have done this too.

I would describe my typical workweek like this: “I had to work 12 hours and I didn’t even eat lunch. All my coworkers suck, my boss is such an ass and I’m sick and tired of this place.”

Does that sound like someone who is excited to live everyday?

Use something like: “Well I did have to work more than I had to but I’ve made a bit more of money. Sure everyone here is in a bad mood all the time but then again I am looking for a new place to work. The management really isn’t as competitive as I’d like, but hey we’re all learning a bit every day in the school of life.”

Who sounds more like they’re constantly trying to improve and better themselves? Just offering a simple solution goes a long way.

On the flip side, Always look to have fun.

Allowing yourself to enjoy and be in the moment grows your spirit, your mind and your body. It is in a way telling yourself that you’re worth spending time, energy and or money. It increases your self worth and makes you feel a lot more valuable.

Are you single and you want to go party? Make it happen. Dance your soul away until your shoes are no more. Want to go watch a movie? Do it even if it’s by yourself. Are you interested in a certain part of town? Go on an expedition.

Allow yourself to be. When you interact with other people, you not only have a positive, winners attitude but you also allow them to be the same as well.

Similar to going first and leading people to a better life.

So let’s review. An Alpha Male has to be:

-Disciplined

-Decisive

-Honest

-Formal

-Growth Oriented

-Fun

Women are attracted by the ear, Quite literally too.

They’re attracted to a man they can’t have their way with. A masculine male that will be more a man than they are. So when a calm, confident voice talks to them with the demeanor of a man who treats himself like a prize, they tend to be very attracted to them.

Be a man in such a way that all women ask themselves, “Huh… I wonder what that guy thinks of me.”

Women are attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. (More on that as we go along.)

So we know what turns a man and a woman on. We know what to embody to be a proper man, what to have built as a foundation to really attract a healthy relationship and in turn reinforce a healthy life.

We know what to also adopt to be healthy contributing humans, being growth and fun oriented.

Here is what not to embody: Fear, Insecurity and Low Self Esteem.

About 4 years ago I remember when a close friend of mine told me, “I have a friend that wants to talk to you.”

Internally I was spinning my head like “What?? Really someone wants to talk to me of all people?? SPECIALLY A GIRL?”

Right from the get go, I was thinking from a place of neediness. I felt I lacked value to be talked to, so I was going to try extra hard to keep that person.

As I got to know the girl, I realized she had simply gone through a traumatic event in her life. I was simply enlisted by her friend as a therapist. My close friend really had no intention to see us get together.

In my infinite wisdom, I bit the trap.

I remember hearing another of her sob stories, appealing to my victim side. I’d tell myself, “Gee wiz, I can change her! I can make her life better, she’ll see. I’ll be the guy that improves her!”

So much so that we spent nearly a YEAR texting over the phone. She lived an hour away and I had NEVER actually met her.

You can’t change anyone but yourself. It is not your job to improve anyone in life besides the person you see in the mirror.

I remember her bringing up her ex a lot, even months after we had been paired up.

“He’s such an asshole, he left me suddenly without an excuse.”, She’d text me.

Apparently the dude was fed up with her drama so he left her for another girl. He was 5 years older than her. She was 16. His name was Edgar.

I’m going to be better than him. I will treat her like a proper gentleman does. Watch.

I was going to prove her I was THE ONE for her. What I did not know was that a true alpha male, the one that wins the ladies, has nothing to prove.

“OMG HE’S TEXTING ME, I’M SO HAPPY!!”, She’d tell me.

I’d be left scratching my head, it made no sense. He treated her with indifference, borderline disrespect. I was over here catering to her every needs and listening to her all day and night. Why was she attracted to the bad boy and not the nice guy?

Simple: He respected himself. I threw my respect out the window and idolized her.

Before you can convince the world to respect you, you have to convince yourself first.

“I want to name my first son Edgar.”, She’d tell me.

This is not working Rodrigo! What do we do to win her over?? I know! Pursue more!

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always got. That is the definition of insanity, to keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

So as you may have guessed it, I kept pursuing her until she crossed the line by revealing that many other guys were in my similar position.

It took more than a year of texting her and being her emotional therapist to realize I had to walk away and never look back. You bet that it definitely hurt to know I had failed miserably. Or did I truly fail?

That is my goal in showing you what an Alpha Male is. I know the feeling when that girl you’ve been dating suddenly reveals another man is in the picture. I know the feeling of hard work and the heart break that is felt after.

Thankfully I learned from my mistakes, I learned to not only embody these values to be an Alpha Male but also help others the same way I helped myself.

The same way that I tasted utter defeat, I also tasted utter victory. Within a month of my most recent date, my girlfriend had already asked me to be exclusive.

I blew her mind, so much so that we are planning on moving in together already. It’s not even been a year.

It’s such a liberating and beautiful feeling to know that after you’ve taken your woman on an amazing date and you two are cuddling, she tells you in your ear: “You’re the man I want to marry.”

Being Masculine is embracing the suck. It’s going through pain and suffering but getting through to what you want in the end. It’s the USF. It’s taking care of yourself.

That is being Masculine.

Have any comments or questions? Make them known below and I will answer them in due time.