Chapter One - Finding Success

Finding success was not easy. I am sure you've heard of the phrase "The road to success is paved by failure.". For me it was definitely the case, as is for every successful person out there. When you look at people like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk you will notice that though they were able to build the biggest companies out there, there is a pattern of intense struggle and failure leading up to the end result: victory.

Think about it. Living a mediocre and stagnant life will not get you different results. If you do the same thing everyday expecting change, you'll watch your life go by without the great accomplishments YOU want. Ever wonder why old people in their death bed are sometimes full of regrets? They lived a mediocre life, working everyday just to see the end of the week. When their biological age reaches it's downfall, their time to act is up.

It does not have to be like that. That is why I've created this section for the average reader. I have struggled and failed miserably and maybe you have too. My main goal is to help at least one person walk away from this series with an extra tool in hand. Whether it is motivation, relationship skills, or even career tips. I want to contribute to the world happiness meter, so one day we may live in a society full of people who are fun and growth oriented. A society where we can live amicably without much worry as everyone is educated to be mature and worthy of investment.

For me this life changing journey, this gold mine that I found that brought so much value into my life actually starts with a recent relationship. A relationship that sparked a revolution of sorts, totally reforming my perception of the world.

I had met a woman on Tinder. She was short, outgoing and emotionally oriented. I was only 20 at the time that we met, I didn't have success with relationships or dates for that matter, I genuinely thought I was going to die alone. I saw all these other relationships going on around me, some already solidifying and others just starting. It was definitely overwhelming as I wasn't even dating anyone.

When we transferred our interaction from Tinder to an actual date I was surprised. Personality can be so different in real life as opposed to the phone. She seemed fun and I was still curious as to what she had to offer so I continued with our date that night.

We ran around Lake Merritt in Oakland, talking about each other's likes and dislikes. We interacted with the locals a couple times and we even visited the local Church and looked inside as a mass was in place.

At one point I saw her looking at me, you know that look that sort of tells you they're admiring you, that's exactly what vibes she gave. I thought I was set for life, I thought I struck gold for the first time ever.

In my eyes the first date was a success, we both parted ways feeling good about each other. I had no clue about what turned women on and what turned them off. I just went along hoping something would click within me. I absolutely had no end goal dating anyone at that time in life. Somehow I managed to do things right and looking back I can tell that my mentality had a lot to do with it.

You see, I was homeless at the time. I had a major argument at home for reasons I will describe later in the series. I had crashed my $20k car that I still owed the bank for and I found myself out on the streets because my family didn't want me back. I was on my knees and life had humbled me.

I bought an old car just so I could have a roof over my head and lived in it while my other car was repaired. At this point in time is when I met my Tinder date. I was totally emasculated, reclusive and down on my luck. What helped me was that I was kind and humble, what was going to be my downfall was that I was in a needy mindset. Women in their feminine energy want men who will act as pillars through best and worst of times. They do not want "boy" minded men who NEED love and affection in the same way a baby loses it's calm when it is hungry.

What I did not know was that I was in for a surprise. On the next date we went to the movies, which is a really bad idea if you're just starting to date. You want to engage your partner in an activity, watching movies at the theater will put you both into idle mode as you try to focus on the plot. She began to try and initiate physical touching halfway into the movie, another red flag that I did not catch on. We didn't really click completely and everything that was happening seemed out of place. You can't force things in life you can only allow or disallow.

But I was in that needy mindset, I thought I was going to die alone and her FINALLY showing me that I was worth something really did me in. I was too blind with attraction to maturely assess the end game and look at the red flags that were popping up. I just didn't know what I didn't know.

Despite all this we dated many times more. Our last date was when she visited me from Oakland to San Jose, where we swam that hot summer day in the hotel I was staying at. We hung out at the pool, went out for dinner and that was that.

The very next day she decided that it was best we split ways. I had no clue why she would consider that, but looking in hindsight I can completely understand. While we did have fun that day, she was hoping I would take things the next step. She wanted to be intimate despite never even making out.

I was not as confident in myself and she was trying to rush everything. It was later revealed to me that she had an ex boyfriend in the background who she was having intimate moments with. Major red flag? More like MAJOR RED FLAG!

I was devastated to know this and I rejected anything that had to do with her. This act not only hurt me but also made me even more reclusive, it was the spark that enabled me to throw out everything I thought I knew about relationships and start anew.

Every human is growth oriented, the issue lies in making each growth moment a fun one. My date was keeping her ex in the background in case I slipped up and it doesn't take a genius to know that isn't healthy. I was devastated but not hopeless!

I went online and began reading up on relationships, I wanted to understand exactly what the went wrong with that section of my life. Remember, all humans are growth oriented. I watched countless videos, read many books more times than I have ever read any other book.

I applied myself to the material and understood the core message, the core values that are to be followed to have a healthy and happy life. Everything from how you show up to the world, how you treat everyone regardless of race, GENDER, age, etc. I understood the ins and outs of attraction, how to make a woman feel her safest and give her the opportunity to have as much fun as I did.

I found out exactly how to turn a negotiation to my favor, how to develop and maintain not only relationships with the lady I want but also increase my circle of friends. I know how to negotiate the best prices among competing businesses. I've learned to stay more in touch with my wants rather than those of society. I am well versed in all there is to know in the self-help world.

The end result is unlimited fun and support around you, all it takes is really applying these ideas and values to see the results. You've really gotta immerse yourself into the material, you have to be completely open and hungry for change. To find success, you have to be willing to apply yourself regardless if you win or lose.

Only until you truly understand the mechanics of relationships with your fellow humans will you really have the tranquility and peace you want. That’s where I come in. I’m here to give you a different perspective to consider when facing challenges. The time’s of struggling are over, welcome to my Self-Help section.