The Memoir Experience

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Chapter Eleven - You're Selfish And You Don't Know It

You’re selfish and you don’t even know it.

If you’ve ever prioritized feeling good over doing what’s right. That’s being selfish.

If you plan for yourself around the people that support you, that’s being selfish too.

Selfishness is viewed as a negative trait, it is commonly depicted in movies and media as something reprehensible. But why? Isn’t this what everyone else does? We are all looking out for ourselves, right?

To an extent, we should all look out for ourselves. If we all stood up for ourselves and made our needs known, we would raise a culture of mutual appreciation.

This is not selfishness, this is just being a human being and allowing others to show their appreciation for you. It’s always nice to be appreciated!

Selfishness is when we deliberately act out against our own kind.

It’s the feeling you get when you’re telling a lie, just to look good in front of someone.

It’s when you put YOU above society. You put YOU above your own kin.

If it’s not for the common good, it’s probably selfish. That’s a quick way to find yourself out of the gene pool.

One of the biggest eye opening realizations I’ve come to find out is selfishness in the form of love. This is mainly common in relationships of two mutually appreciating partners.

I’ve seen this happen in my own way of viewing the world as well as in the way other fellow men see their partners. We tend to become obsessed with an idea of who someone is. It can be a wife/girlfriend/coworker/you name it. Same idea applies to the opposite sex.

We tend to see those around us as resources, rather than an entire universe on it’s own. Instead of seeing a human for their beginnings, their life history and their culture as a body. We see these same people merely for who we think they are.

Let’s say I’ve just met one of my readers today. My definition of who they are will be based on the actions they’ve made since and vice versa.

This could explain why we think most humans are evil when they act out, rather than maturely understanding that people aren’t evil. They are just hurt human beings.

In relationships, all too often I see my fellow men judging their female partners. Criticizing them and making their disdain vocal. They fail to see past the errors and mistakes, recognize the child in their partner and making mature decisions based on this.

A selfless way of living is to see everyone for the child they once were. That’s when you truly look at the bigger picture.

Failure in looking past the present effect and determining the root cause has led to disaster and even death. People get killed for the selfish perspective of others.

If this is resonating with you well, You’ve just realized your way of thinking about the world. You’ve unlocked a new perspective on human relationships and my hope is that you help others do the same.

The better we can show each other appreciation and mutual well being, the faster we can get to achieving the best we can achieve.