I’ll say this right off the bat: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE ONE

It is very cute and romantic to fantasize about “The One”. The problem is that labeling someone “The One” will make you attach yourself to that person or the outcome of that relationship.

You see in the movies about the guy that pursues, chases The One woman who wants absolutely nothing to do with him. He buys flowers and runs across the city in pouring rain, and stands outside her house waiting for her to open the door.

All of a sudden she wakes up and realizes “Oh my god! He’s the love of my life and I want to marry him!”

She goes down the flight of stairs of her beautiful white house, opens the door and receives him in her life.

While it is beautiful, it’s FAR from reality. It’s Hollywood.

In real life (And this has happened to men I know), the more a guy pursues a woman, chases her and tries to prove his love for her, the more she tends to want nothing with him.

If a guy doesn’t leave a woman alone, buys flowers and runs across the city while it’s pouring rain just waiting for her outside her house, the cops show up and he gets a restraining order.

Maybe this has happened to you or someone you know. The more you chase women, the more you chase them out of loving you.

Idolizing and venerating ANYONE as “The One” is disrespectful to yourself because you stop putting yourself first.

Women, by and large, want to know that a man has his shit together and is happy with her or without her.

It makes women feel safe and comfortable when a man puts his values first and foremost, he makes himself “The One”. It lets her and the world know he is genuine and what he says: he means it.

So how does an Alpha Man view women? If they aren’t “The One”, What are they?

Women are there to complement a man’s life and help him be his best version, Men are there to do the exact same for women.

It can go deeper than that though, because even though there is no such thing as “The One”, there are soulmates. People who you connect with in every level that it’s uncanny and they are most definitely very rare.

Soulmates are fundamentally just people who went through a similar growth pattern as you. They are VERY attracted to you physically/emotionally/spiritually, and you both understand each other’s quirks and thought process.

Not only this but your exact values are identical. The same exact goals you have for yourself are the exact same for your soulmate.

As you can see, there is a lot of criteria to be met in order to meet a soulmate but once it actually is met, the results can be complete bliss.

There was a funny story when I was learning European History in High School, there was a Russian Czar that would just LOVE war.

If he could spam that “Declare War” Button, he would. He loved conquering, pillaging, and just outright dominating.

In one of his battles, one of his soldiers was a woman with a similar thirst for battle. Her fellow brother in arms feared her as she would rush to the enemy front lines to crush as many opponents as she possibly could.

Needless to say her passion for war was heard by the Russian Czar who in turn decided to divorce his current wife (Who was an aristocrat) and instantly married the fearless soldier.

Not soon after, she was promoted to queen and they both pillaged and conquered happily ever after.

Not as romantic as most stories today, but you can see the soulmate level these two really had.

So that really gets us to my first point: What should you look for when dating and going about your business?

What does the most hottest and attractive soulmate to you look like?

You’ve gotta make a top ten list of things you PRIORITIZE in a partner. Everything from her looks, her attitude, her focus in life. Do you want a blonde? A Brunette? Are you into Latinas? Asians?

Would you want her to be religious or not? Is going to Sunday mass extremely important? Do you want her to be Muslim? Jewish? Christian?

Do you want a woman that prioritizes having fun and partying or one that keeps herself focused on each upcoming goal? Do you want a woman that wants to stay at home or one that wants to go out into the workforce?

Basically, just build your dream woman.

For women, you’ve got to basically do the same. Do you want a tall man? A short man? Hispanic/White/Black?

Would you want your man to be religious or not? Do you want a man that believes in your religion or does it not matter?

Women, you have to build your dream man.

Now we’re going to order your top ten list from most important (#1) to least important (#10). This is exactly what you’re going to be wondering when you ask a woman out.

You should consistently work on getting to know your dates’ thoughts and opinions on what most matters to you, granted after you’ve gotten the physical priorities in order.

Now we’re going to list top ten things you DON’T want to see in your potential partner.

Do you absolutely hate tattoos? Is believing in a religion or being atheist off the table?

Would you absolutely be turned off by a woman that can’t joke? Maybe a woman that jokes too much isn’t for you.

Just like before, list out your most important unwanted traits from most important to least important starting from number one.

These are going to be what you will focus on when you’re out in the dating world. You will undoubtedly meet plenty of people who will completely disgust you in person.

Maybe you’ll meet a woman that is just as crazy and quirky as you.

The point is to build a woman you’re envisioning towards every day. When you actually have a vision of what you want, you’ll begin to notice women around you who match your desired description more and more.

Like buying a pair of sneakers you absolutely wanted only to start noticing that others too have the same type of sneakers. Maybe you’ve bought a car you absolutely wanted and suddenly you see more and more of your same type of car.

Once you know what you want, getting it is much easier.

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